i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
