Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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