This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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