im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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