I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
