Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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