he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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