3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
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she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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