I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
