A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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