Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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