This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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