I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
