Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
