he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
