Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
