I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Too much gin, very little bucket
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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