Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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