Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
