Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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