i don't like sucking hair
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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