I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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