I accidentally had phone sex last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
