oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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