i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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