I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Still dying that you shit outside
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
