My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
