dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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