In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
