Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
