if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
