I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
