He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
