We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
