I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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