I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
