He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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