Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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