I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
