I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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