tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
