"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You work out of a Hotel?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize