her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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