it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
