I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
