Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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