lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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