Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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