Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Everclear isn't food dammit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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