Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
