Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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