Me too!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
