i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
there is glitter all over my balls
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