u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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