They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
