I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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