Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
