in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Boobs speak an international language.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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