so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
