she was so not down for the gang bang
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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