it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
