I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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