I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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