Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
time to smoke my breakfast
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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