1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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