in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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