imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
smell my finger.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize