No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
