Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.