So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
